"The Unending Alteration of the Human Heart" Story
Creating the Album: a metamorphosis
In the first stages of songwriting for this record, I felt extreme disappointment and loss — a death of dreams, a certain end to my youth and naivety, and a need to withdraw and nurture myself in a gentle and minimal atmosphere. But by the end of my creative process I felt grateful and full of faith that the grief was a gift
Present through the recording process was an intention of spinning my feelings into a beautiful tapestry, of an excitement for my ability to transform the trauma into something interesting, honest, and relatable. I am certain that the attitude I took in interacting with my grief made all the difference in it how it shaped me - the difference between slipping into crippling depression or into a productive period of practicing self-love and expanding my capacity to extend that love outward to my community.
So in a way UNENDING ALTERATION is a heartbreak album, but it isn’t heartbroken, it’s in process, it’s in growth. Lets call it an “in growth” album instead. Because it acknowledges that to move though anything we have to submit fully to it, to be in complete presence with it, give it our concentrated attention until we have digested the experience and are ready to wake up in a new state.
And part of that, for me, was recognizing that the human condition will never be free from pain, and therefor we are never finished learning how to transform it. It’s an ever expanding process. We don’t cross some finish line of having become fully realized and perfect individuals, it’s more like -- one day the body stops.
So, sure, the record is about grief and loss, and being present with those fully rather than deny their existence, but it’s also about finding sanctuary in the center of myself, and being grateful for the invitation to expand my capacities for compassion — because that’s what happens each time we recover from loss in a conscious way.